By John Grant
Yeah. It was about time I treated my wife, as she had been working like a Trojan and needed a break. That was the intention. Perhaps a game lodge for the weekend? Then I checked out the prices.
Dammit, these prices are killing us locals. I mean, who can afford around R4 500 per person a night? And that's before a four-hour drive plus toll roads to get there. Tiring and expensive stuff.
So now what? OK, I thought, I'll try the hotels around Johannesburg. My first port of call, (that's travel talk for stop) was the Intercontinental Palazzo Hotel at Montecasino. Great. They were offering a special:
Aha. This was just up my street and something more in line with my pocket.
The Palazzo Hotel is the flagship deluxe within the Southern Sun group and I reckoned that if it was good enough for the likes of Pavarotti, Will Smith, the Black Eyed Peas, Arnold Schwarzenegger and that other English soccer team, Manchester something or other, (the one my wife supports), then it was good enough for the Grants.
I would secret my wife away for a romantic weekend just around the corner.
The hotel has plenty of secure parking and we received a warm welcome from the guys who took our bags to the reception.
After booking in, we decided to take a walk to the bird world. We really enjoyed strolling around the cages. But watch it - sometimes the avian inhabitants will land or even crap on you, so don't wear white. Bird World is well worth a visit even if you're not staying at the hotel.
Also available for intrepid guests is a hot-air balloon ride that allows a panoramic view of the northern suburbs, but my good wife said there was more than enough hot air around with me, so we gave that a miss!
Our room was a standard room with warm colours and a comfortable king-size bed - much appreciated at our age as it allows you that full stretch without pushing your partner off the bed. Actually, there is nothing quite like the feel of cool, crisp white hotel sheets with enough pillows to sink a battle ship. I suppose, in some ways, a bed might be considered a battlefield of a kind, or alternatively, a romantic bower. A lounge chair in the corner, subdued lighting and a soft carpet completed the picture. Then the wine and the roses. Aaah.
There was one wardrobe to share, complete with two white bathrobes and a safe for all the jewellery that I still have to buy my wife.
The TV cabinet also contained a small but well-stocked bar fridge. Happily, the dressing table and mirror was large enough for all the war paint and other stuff a woman likes to take with her, and the hair dryer was powerful enough for once, remarked my good lady. The en-suite bathroom in stony Italianate style had a lovely large shower into which both of us fitted with ease, but the bath was a tad short. On the washstand shelf were the usual soaps, shampoo, conditioner and body creams that one would expect from a hotel of this calibre.
Some of the things I like to take home from hotels are the shoe buff, the small toothbrush and toothpaste, and the travelling sewing kit, as they are so handy for some of the trips I do when on mission work in the mountains of Lesotho. But I suppose asking for an aftershave would be pushing my luck. Nevertheless, the other goodies were much appreciated.
As the Palazzo Hotel is part of the Montecasino complex, all the entertainment is close at hand, but we opted for a quiet, romantic night at the intimate Medeo restaurant.
However, the intimacy had its problems the following morning when there was inadequate seating for breakfast.
"We are currently upgrading and extending the restaurant area. We did not anticipate that it would be so well patronised by the guests as well as non-residents," said John de Canha, the director of operations, who took time out of his busy schedule to have a chat. (That's how I heard about some of the previous celeb guests.)
The hotel is proud of of hosting international, corporate, private and local events. I was interested to know if the hotel was gearing itself up for the World Cup soccer in 2010.
"Of course," John replied. "Not only our hotel, but the whole Southern Sun stable, across all brands, with superb service to make South Africa proud." Roll on World Cup 2010.
After our leisurely breakfast, we strolled around the garden area, past the koi pond where a little boy played with his fingers in the water. The fish gathered around him in anticipation of a possible feed...
"You should see if your dad can get you a fishing rod," I said in jest. His eyes lit up and he shot off to suggest the idea to his father. "Wicked man," said my wife, "his poor dad will spend hours having to explain just why he can't attempt to land a plump koi."
We carried on walking and the koi swam lazily away.
As for the night, well, come on guys, when you treat your lady like a queen then your night is made.
Another plus: the Palazzo is in no rush to kick you out the next morning so breakfast can be a little later if you want to have that extra cuddle before returning home to the teenagers, cats, dogs and once-a-week visit to the in-laws. Oh well, all good things have to come to an end sometime.
Be a devil and treat your loved one - it's naughty, nice, near and lots of fun. It's also affordable, but book early as this evening break seems very popular - with good reason.
- This article was originally published on page 6 of The Star on October 21, 2006
